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@myss it was a joke. I would not be shocked if they did though.
If I'm not answering their calls, someone else could which increases the chance of reaching me. -
C0D4681465yWhy do you want to work here?
- have you even looked up this company? Do you even know what they do?
- it's used to filter out the CV spammers who are just throwing them at any job and seeing what sticks.
Are you flexible?
- expect overtime,
- expect strange hours when required
- expect late nights
- are you happy with a 9-5 job with the occasional light night?
do you see yourself as a perfect for for the roles?
- this could just be a test In itself. The safe answer is no, with room to improve.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
- this is to see if you have a plan, a goal for your career or hell even happy just to continue doing dev work.
I give up,
But most of these are standard questions to see if you actually fit within the company, have researched the company and are willing to work more then a strict 9-5 job. -
@C0D4 interesting insight, but if you are having 2 to 3 job interviews every week for one to two months, it becomes exhausting to memorize all of the company history etc.
I had that last year. 3 interviews in the same week while having to learn for an exam.
That's simply not possible.
And besides of that no one would really love to do that. I can learn about the company after me getting the job. -
essi3815y@-ANGRY-STUDENT- I don't think you are expected to know the history of the company, but it's reasonable to expect you to have looked at what the company does.
I mean - if its a consulting firm, the technologies involved and the general field that the company gets customers from might be enough. But if you're applying for a job in a start up company that produces assistant robots they will likely a) want you to have understood the pros/cons of working in a start up and b) be passionate about the future of robotics. -
vane112845yBecause they’re trying to protect you from mistake they made a few years ago by applying for work.
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Are you flexible?
Yes. (proceed to straighten my legs and touch my knees with my chin) -
" Nope. Have a nice day and suck my dick. I'm leaving."
I have to go out and apply to a job just so I can try this one!
And I don't even need the job! -
krz114305yMaybe if you went to the interviews with a more positive, open vibe you would have a better chance to get those jobs?
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@krz1 the thing is that I am going to interviews with a positive vibe, but I often regret it when I get out of the interview.
If I wasn't having a positive vibe about it, I would have rejected the interview in the first place.
Why wasting my time, right?
Why do HR people ask stupid questions like the following ones? Everytime I get those questions, I have imaginary answers like the ones right after each question.
Why do you want to work here?
- Obviously, because I need the money to survive. I'm not here because I love working for you and having to endure your stress. I'm not that type of a kinky person.
Are you flexible?
- Why? Do you want to annoy me when I'm sleeping in the middle of the night because of a sudden deadline or because a god damn employee didn't show up?
Do you see yourself as a perfect fit for both developer and tech support roles?
- Read my fucking resume, moron. I applied for a developer role. Nothing else.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
- As if you would care. It's none of your business, but since we are at it. I see myself as your manager in 5 years. Hope that you like that thought.
We didn't bother reading your CV. Would you like to tell us about yourself?
- Nope. Have a nice day and suck my dick. I'm leaving.
Can you give us your phone number and the phone number of your girlfriend?
- I didn't know that I am selling my soul to your company by accepting this job offer. I'm not your slave and you will not call me whenever I'm enjoying my private time.
What's motivating you?
- Money and the peaceful vibe at work when you are shutting the fuck up when I'm fully focused during my projects.
How do you handle stress?
- I dick slap everyone infront of me.
Do you see yourself as a hard worker?
- Nah, I'm not interested in sucking dicks, eating her ass and bending over to get a little bit of a raise.
question
stupid hr questions