8
Ekomann
5y

Hi there fellow Devranters,
I am new here but my problem is pretty old. You see i stumbled into coding totally by accident. That was about 5 years ago. I have been learning ever since.
But the problem is that each day I just feel less and less of a programmer, more of a failure. I started with python, from sololearn to various ebooks.Then C++ and finally Ruby. But I still feeal weak.Despite the projects that I have worked on I still don't feel good enough. Most especially in Ruby.
I have a friend who is also into coding and coincidentally started about the same time as I did.The difference is that he learnt at university and I am self-taught.We used to talk a lot but we don't anymore,I feel too ashamed, an impostor even. I am scared he'll ask me something and I won't know anything about it.And I once taigjt him OOP. Right now I can't even code a hello world program without reading a whole ebook on python just to be confident.
We had dreams with my friend on a dozen or so projects that would have put us on the software dev map, but I keep avoiding him so much we have barely started any. I am afraid he'll find me too amateurish to work with.
I learn everyday to expand my knowledge,I have subscribed to a gazillion software related stuff on all social media platforms I happen to be in.But deep down I feel insufficient. I have been going through rants since the few hours I joined and it doesn't sound gibberish to me.Neither does other people's code when I go through it.But I am ashamed of mine I end up deleted after it runs successfully.
I just don't feel like a software developer, I don't even know what it takes to be one even. I learned 10 languages focused on 3, laughed at memes only devs get, used linux and loved it too but still I feel like an impostor. I used to be happy about all the things I taught myself, I onced dreamed of working at Google and later having my own startup back home.Now my friend and a couple of his friends have a small start-up and I feel ashamed of myself.
I don't feel like what I know is enough and learning only makes me feel worse, so bad I am scared of coding again now.Yet I just can't stop learning, I feel incomplete when I don't do anything dev related,but I don't even feel my speed is fast enough when I type on my keyboard.
😥😥

Comments
  • 4
    That sounds a little bit like burnout to me. I think you try too hard, perhaps because you're unsecure in general, and you thought being the best at programming will make you feel better but instead of coding because you like it you did it for some imaginary street credit that doesn't exist and now you're just lacking the motivation and vision of a good programmer. So maybe instead of tryharding and complaining about how your friend does well you should take a break, re-align your priorities, maybe try a different hobby for a bit and your brain will let you know when its ready to enjoy coding once again
  • 1
    I would stick to one language and ensure you understand the foundation knowledge of programming as the language at this point dosent matter. If you know how to code and problem solve the language is errevlant to a degree you select the language best suited to the task.

    Simply stick to one language go build something small every day in the areas you feel less comfortable in. You will get it. Build confidence and move to another language it will feel easier etc.

    Good luck.
  • 4
    Code isn't permanent. Get it done then make it better. It's never perfect and it doesn't need to be.
    You will probably never feel like you know enough and that's totally ok. Work until you get stuck and then learn about it. If you have too many ways to do something just pick one with a magic 8 ball. If it doesn't go well, evaluate why and see if that helps you pick from the remaining options.
  • 1
    @d4rkc00d3r I already built a few apps, but my problem mainly lies in the fact that I don't even know what it takes to be referred to as a developer. How many apps do I need, what basic stuff do I need to learn after learning a language?
  • 2
    I think @bryceleo sums it up nicely. I would add that you seem to posses the skills to be a developer so just own your accomplishments and call yourself a developer and grow into it. Anytime you create software your a developer and certainly in my younger days I was a bad one, but a bad painter is still a painter!

    Coding is an expressive art form and that's why each developer approaches tasks differently. Just within my team we follow best practices but individuality breaks through. You are a developer go devlope and have fun. Just remember if your the cleverest person in the room, your in the wrong room. Never stop learning and pushing forward. The quest for knowledge is the fun part.
  • 0
    I think a first good step would be to create smaller paragraphs, that'd be huge step in my opinion.
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