75

Fuck those useless calls!

PM: customer X wants a call in an hour.
Me: they didn't send emails before. No questions, no prep, no call.
PM: yeah but they want to talk.
Me: these unprepared calls are pointless. I'll be sitting there, noting down the questions and telling them I'll have to look up the details.
PM: shall I tell them that you don't want to talk to them?
Me: I don't care, it's your call, do whatever you want.
PM: that's not professional.
Me: oh you're calling it professional to sit there with a pencil, writing down crap or what?
PM: what's the problem?!
Me: I've had this shit for the last two fucking calls, and they were so unprepared that they wasted half of the call just reading up, and I'm fed up with this shit!
PM: but they are the customers, and they aren't that happy.
Me: yeah, and do you know why? Because our schedule is completely fucked up and our management has been ignoring ANY warning from engineering for WEEKS! That's why they are unhappy and not because I'm not holding their fucking hands!
PM: hey, but you can't tell me what I have to do!
Me: and you can't tell me either! [he's my PM, but technically not my superior.]
PM: so no call or what?
Me: you're free to have your call. I'll sort out the shit that they're concerned about, putting that down in a proper email, and then we have at least some basis for discussion!
PM: (left for his call)

Btw., my cursing was the same in the live conversation with him.

Comments
  • 10
    Alex took over Fast-Nop's account as it seems. A delicious rant. Thanks!
  • 7
    @-ANGRY-CLIENT- it's just that I hate useless calls about as much as gunnery sergeant Hartman hates unlocked footlockers, and the reaction is similar. ^^
  • 6
    @Fast-Nop if you are the dev, you shouldn't be in calls. So well done.
  • 4
    @mundo03 except if it's about technical things, but then this needs proper preparation.

    We had that call today, AFTER I had gathered the different issues, made an impact analysis, categorised them by severity, mailed this around as agenda AND had agreed on a call strategy with my PM.

    Went absolutely smooth. It's a much better impression for the customer when things are prepared like that. Also, it allows to guide the customer instead of being driven by him.
  • 2
    @Fast-Nop doesn't seem like a dev job at all, seems you are doing someone else's job, ask for a raise
  • 4
    @mundo03 that's industrial products where there's also an engineering department on the customer side.
  • 2
    @Fast-Nop sounds like tech leader job
  • 4
    @h4xx3r it's pretty much of everything except hardware design and actual project management: system level discussions with the customer, breaking that down into our own specs, implementing that, designing test scenarios and sometimes even testing. Then reviews and stuff. Oh and supplier monitoring and control, and support when something doesn't work in the field.

    Actually, it's pretty chaotic sometimes because I never know what a day will bring. But on the other hand, it's never boring, and co-workers are cool.

    I've been in more "professional" companies, and I hated it. Bureaucracy everywhere, you couldn't wear metal shirts, office politics left and right.
  • 1
    @Fast-Nop
    You did a marvelous job, well done!
    Those unprepared calls are pure cancer!
    When something like that creeps up on me, I usually put a blocker in my calendar.
    Either they prepare a proper TelCo, or I am unavailable.
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