Anxiety sucks.
Clonazepam sucks.
Insomnia sucks.

Maybe coding would be fun again if I just got out of this neurotic rut.🙄

And..... it’s Monday now....

that sucks man, my question might be annoyingly banal but have you been seeing a psychologist about that anxiety issue?

Got some pretty bad anxiety too. Anyone knows how to flash a different OS on human brain? /s

@kimailis It’s a good question actually. I haven’t been to one in a long while. Keep telling myself I’ll go but I just don’t.

@N0-Flux-Given I’m on a stale release channel.

@Duncan then do it man, you wont believe how good you will feel and how helpful some good therapy sessions are.
i also had some anxiety issues, some panic attacks, rage attacks, a bit suicidal and always fantasized of murder, and a bit bi-polar ( had long depressive periods and short manic periods). got put on pills, venlax, citalopram, some more crap.
they did more harm than good, they did stabilize me but completely killed my empathy and conscience so i was a jerk because of those, also had that annoying feeling in the throat that is like half nausea half weak gag reflex or something. one day i was out of pills and was too depressed to buy new ones ( i was one double dose), after a while i decided to quit them. instead i chose to either tackle or live through my problems, things started to get a lot better, my best friend studies psychology so she also helped me a lot. you dont need pills for that, man.

@kimailis I’m glad you’ve improved! I was seeing a psychologist and was in psychiatric hospital for a few weeks back in 2016. I guess things were going better after that. I’m not suicidal or anything at this stage. Just panic attacks have resurfaced and the depression that comes along comorbidly with my anxiety is being quite rude and uncalled for. Bad depression, bad boy!

My mom also suggested I start going to a psychologist again. I’ll probably go to the same one that knows me although she is a bit further away now after I moved back home. And I despise being out in public. Well, I’m visiting my brother after a routine surgery in hospital today and this is probably more than enough for my liking. But I’m making an effort to not be confined to my room and desk all day.

As for the meds, yeah I know they are only there to treat the symptoms and to a large extent, benzodiazepines do take the anxiety edge off. I take them quite sparingly. But to find the root cause it’ll definitely require psychotherapy and working on many aspects of myself.

@Duncan dont postpone it, get back to that therapist or find a new one. sometimes it helps to tackle the issue head on, like you’re anxious to go out of the house? go out more often. i used to be depressed over things than i find trivial today, that changed because i was given worse things to be depressed over, gone through a lot a of tests. and now i dont get depressed, yes i have bad mood once in awhile but nothing like the cripling apathetic mentally dead state that could last for a week depressions that i used to have. you ARE able to make your situation and your life better and i think that you deserve it.