42
Condor
6y

Got hungry, peeled myself a carrot because I want to live healthier.
As I was peeling the thing, I figured.. why am I operating this thing? And even think of putting it in my mouth?! It looks so PHALLIC!!!!
To all the carrots out there, I DEMAND that you change shape NOW!!!

Comments
  • 11
    But why is their shape a bad thing :P
  • 13
  • 13
    you PEEL a carrot? just remove the earth and eat it.
  • 3
    @stop is it safe to eat it like that though? I've honestly never tried 🤔
  • 6
    if it would, i would be dead by now. ok i ate the ones direct from our garden.
  • 8
    @Condor Carrot peel is kind of gross, honestly. Totally edible, though, just like a potato skin. Except potato skins are wonderful!
  • 6
    Reading your rant makes me feel guilty for opening those bottles of wine tonight
  • 10
    This rant is like peak bro culture ...

    *frat boy brings the carrot up to his mouth. "No homo" he whispers before takiing a bite*
  • 3
    @stop i ate a lot from stores just washing them and I'm fine.
  • 1
    Consider changing your mind.
  • 1
    @catadoxa Bro <3
    @JKyll This is the only night in months that I can't drink (without going to a café) because I ran out of booze, haha. So don't feel guilty, I've got way past the point of becoming an alcoholic already here... I mean with this current status quo.. yeah. Cheers!
    @stop @gitreflog Interesting! Would be a great time-saver too, to keep the peels on there.
    @ajit555 And cut off my testicles to (hopefully) please one of those Sharp/Ada type SJW's? Nah, I'd rather retain both my phallus and my testicles down there.
    @bubblegumboy People call me crazy for a reason (:
  • 1
    Did you carve a bellend onto it?
  • 0
    @fullyerectcolon no 😅 I'm not gay. Nothing beats a good pussy (or rather, a Fleshlight) 😉
    Username checks out btw 🙃
  • 1
    It's just a carrot. You are not turning gay if you eat it, and even if you would the world would be a better place (more homosexual people = less prejudice).
  • 2
    @kaesaecracker Of course, but I'm afraid that you've kinda missed the point... It's about the Python controversy from earlier (maybe I should've put that in the tags). I DON'T LIKE THE FORMAT OF THESE TECH TERMS SO CHANGE THEM!!! .. Yeah. Shapeshifting all carrots would be easier I guess :')
  • 2
    @Condor How about a carrot with two tomatoes beneath the top?
  • 4
  • 4
    Also, who said carrots are look phallic? I bet you feel dumb now.
  • 2
    @Condor whoopsie, now I get it. Sorry ':)
  • 2
    Next article on Huffpost: "why eating carrots is really homophobic"
  • 2
    @fattymiller more like BuzzFeed 😛@gitreflog sorry for assuming the shape of carrots 😰
  • 2
    There's a next level language called genome you have to learn to code.
  • 2
    @Gaveuxifort new additional dependencies for "programming": political correctness, removal of meritocracy, oh and the existing code of conduct is by definition incompatible. New dependency must be met by using "Contributor's Covenant". Oh, you think that you can program without all those dependencies? Well fuck you then, misogynistic, patriarchic piece of shit!!! WOMAN-HATER!!! 😡

    🙃
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