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Girlfriend: "My computer is so slow!"

Me: "Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

Girlfriend: "That's not funny, I actually need help."

Me: "Okay babe, I know you think I'm being an ass right now or tying to be funny, but honest to god half of what pays rent here and buys you so many flowers is me telling people to turn something of and then on again. Just try it."

Girlfriend: *Restarts computer*... "You were right..."

Comments
  • 28
    Closing all the browser tabs should be enough. Seriously, I can't get it why my wife keeps tens of tabs open for days - after a while she doesn't even know what she has there. And if I dare to ask all I get is "important stuff!"...
  • 12
    I've considered making a chrome add on that lets you set a tab limit, and it just purges the oldest unused tab when you hit that limit, providing there isn't any 'unsaved' changes.
  • 18
    The episode from the IT Crowd where he bets he can spend a whole day without saying that phrase comes to mind... Fucking hilarious...
  • 1
    @iDanoo please do!!! and let me know if u need help
  • 2
    @iDanoo Let us know when you do it. I will test it on my wife 😄
  • 8
    I also made a chrome extension for myself, it's shows list of all the tabs and switch to a tab momentarily as you move your cursor on it. You can switch to a tab or can close it from there itself. I later put it on chrome store...

    it's name is peek-a-tab!!

    https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...
  • 8
    I also noticed that my GF happily clicks on every shady banner that says "Slow computer! Click here and install our optimizer!".
    And actually install said "optimizer".
  • 1
    happened to me countless times in eclipse ...
  • 1
    @fonfi lol mine does the exact same thing. Whenever I touch the computer I hear "don't close my tabs"! They've been open for a month... lol
  • 3
    @remka lol mine too. She downloaded macKeeper. Twice. Just to make sure it was installed. Ugh lol.
  • 3
    @omjessica I don't get how it's related what you have done in your life to the chrome tabs that someone's gf let open for a week. 😕
  • 1
    @omjessica You are here, so maybe people assume that you can take care of yourself?
  • 3
    @omjessica "..missing a semicolon somewhere..." sorry, you bellowed? 😆
  • 3
    @omjessica yeah, maybe his gf is unemployed like my gf or she is still in college or whatever so he must pay for everything.
    I still don't get how is this related to your life.
  • 4
    @omjessica that's great, but nobody said anything about you.
  • 0
    @fonfi tens???? It's amazing it's only in the double digits!
  • 4
    @fonfi thegreatsuspender it is a chrome extension which can pause tabs and resume them to free up memory and it can happen automatically. you can whitelist tabs to not be suspended and change it easily.

    What it does when a tab is suspended is replace the tab with a message and reduces CPU and memory while saving the link to the tab so when you return you can just click it to refresh the page. It might be worth it for her and spare some computer resources automatically.

    I use it on my netbook/laptop/flip convertible to be able to have a bazillion (OK like 20) tabs "saved" in chrome for current projects.
  • 4
    9 times out of 10, all I have to do is close Chrome and the problems go away.
  • 1
    Extensions The Great Suspender and Tabs Outliner, which work well together. The histories of your tabs are also preserved. The combo has cured my tab-a-holic tendencies, or at least helped me to organize them meaningfully
  • 0
    @iDanoo there's already an extension that does that. I'm using it right now. basically if you haven't touched a tab in the last 10 minutes the tab will close on its own
  • 0
    @tisaconundrum the maximum number of tabs that I have open at any one time is 5
  • 1
    @tisaconundrum what's the extension?
  • 0
    just kill chrome. voila! your computer gives you a kiss!
  • 1
    @fonfi I get that. I am someone like that. Usually for me, it is something I want to look at later. If I bookmark it, the later becomes years instead of days. If on chrome you can try the great suspender. It unloads inactive tabs, so memory is not lost while keeping the tabs open.
  • 0
  • 3
    @fonfi I do that, too. I don't bookmark. Just keep the tabs open
  • 0
    Oh man... This reminds me of an associate vice provost we had who would never close his tabs. At meetings, he'd open up his browser and the whole top bar would look like this:

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////x

    😑
  • 0
    “Hello, I.T., Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
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