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Just talk about it and tell her that she can do stuff, too - ofc only if she doesn't do shit at all.
If she refuses - well, you gotta solve this problem to be happy somehow, so you should find a solution together -
That was us, too, with me the SAH mom. There's another approach.
When I didn't have a "hey - let's go to the grocery store!" welcome home, and he actually got to write something, my husband would ask me to look at that something he wrote. Eventually, he'd ask if I could break it.
Fast forward a few years.
I'm a developer now. NOW I get it. He had to get a long con going, but it worked... -
julianmd5098yI kind of feel you. I'm in a similar situation, but my girlfriend does some things, tho. She waits for me to get home to spend time together, cause we barely get to because of work schedules.
It's a tricky situation, but you can make it work if you establish some commonly agreed upon ground, like a few hours for coding/testing/etc and the rest for yourselves. Seriously, communication and closeness is paramount to maintaining a relationship, especially if you're a dev. Hell, I postponed work on my app to help her with chores and stuff related to her work, but I'm expecting a weekend of her being there for me and helping out as well.
the feeling when you work 9 hours a day and you are waiting to get home to work on your own apps. getting home takes an hour. After arriving home your girlfriend (who was home whole day doing nothing) tells you that you should go to buy some stuff and we got some letters so you should go to post office as well....
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