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My conversation with a recruiter today.

Recruiter: we have looked through your profile and we are very interested in your experience and projects you have been working on we are keen to process your application please send us your resume asap.

Me: sure thing * sends CV.

Recruiter: oh yeah your not what we are looking for.

Me: Oh no problem you sound like a great recruitment agency.

Recruiter: what do you mean?

Me : so you "looked at my profile" which has all the information identical to my resume for a job which requires 10 years worth of experience in a software which was only released 6 months ago. Why don't you learn to ride a bike and then in 10 years time. Ride a hover bike first time without falling off and I will assess wherever or not you have the experience on first glance. Don't waste my time again.
Mother Fuckers!

Needless to say I did not get a reply 😂

Comments
  • 2
    Your logic is flawless.
  • 3
    Haha. I would have used more profanities but I was in an unusually good mood for a Monday. The next fucker tho.... They gonna feel the wrath of a thousand fucks 😆
  • 1
  • 3
    Pwahahahaha another one this time for a Junior Role. They basically want you to be God Level. but for 22k a year.. I wouldn't pick up dog shit for 22k a year! hahahaha.
  • 3
    @pretzlerich Don't think they want a junior who is God level lol. That's why they want a junior

    But 22k is shit lol.
  • 1
    @BigBoo but what junior has that level of experience. It's unrealistic. Either that or they are just playing sociopathic mind games to fuck with people.
  • 1
    @pretzlerich They don't mention any level of experience. Strong is subjective. Can mean strong for being a junior. I.e not complete fucking garbage.
  • 2
    @pretzlerich I'm pretty sure one could bullshit their way through most of that by just kind of knowing what everything is.
  • 2
    @BigBoo I like how you think. 😉
  • 2
    @pretzlerich To be fair though. I wouldn't touch a post like that with fire. I'm pretty picky when it comes to jobs lol.

    Idk what you are looking for though. But if you have a clear goal you should go for that.
  • 1
    Trying to land my first android developer job. I ain't fussy but it's the hardest recruitment process known to man.joining the navy seals ain't got shit on this process.
  • 3
    @pretzlerich rxjava {2!!}, kotlin, retrofit and dagger 2 are basically the Android buzzwords ATM.

    Because to be a good Dev you have to know a lot of libraries that can couple so tightly to your product you couldn't remove them with 10 megaton nuclear explosion. But I digress :P

    Leave dagger last it's the most painful ;)
  • 2
    I already found some recruiters asking for +5 years on Kotlin... It's like they doesn't know anything about the job that they are offering. It's shameful
  • 0
  • 0
    @raeve haha makes me laugh.
  • 0
    I'm learning flutter for the seamlessly clean material design at the moment. I know Kotlin is hot but I find dart amazing to work with.
  • 1
    I've heard of some cases where jobs will include inane/impossible experience requirements (such as "10 years' experience with Windows 10") as a means of filtering out every potential applicant, thus allowing for petitioning for a visa to fill the role on the basis that "no candidate can be found in the US to fill the role."
  • 2
    @Kaji the sad thing is that doesn't sound far fetched at all :/
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