Attendance at the daily standup [related to a project that hasn't even started yet] is mandatory!
What did you work on yesterday?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on today?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on for the next 3-6 months?
You guessed it: An unrelated project.
Any blockers?
This is interfering with an unrelated project, but when Agile says "jump", you say "how high?"!

Oh lorde, make it stahp

Well at my job it's like:
what did you do yesterday?
Fix bugs reported two days ago.
Did you run into any problems?
Yep, the same ones as usual.
What are you going to.do today?
Fix bugs reported yesterday

I had this at my previous previous job... For 3 products I had standups like this for... Years... I bet today, they still do

It's fucking pointless because you said what you were working on yesterday, yesterday. IDGAF what any of my colleagues are working on and if I suspect we need to collaborate I will talk to them without the need for a fucking shitty standup. And as for blockers... Of course I saved all my blockers for the standup instead of dealing with them AS THEY FUCKING HAPPENED. Load of fucking bullshit, pisses me right the fuck off.