A programming contest without any text editors installed on the machines.

I mean, Fuck?

Text editors are for beginners.

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.

Pfff I use a particle accelerator to create a charged point microsingularity, with such precise initial parameters that a stable universe forms inside as a holographic matrix with just the program encoded in the vibrations of the type IIB membrane.

The program seems to run fine, but I have some trouble getting I/O to work, possibly due to the destiny matrix screwing with the quantum state of the Hawking radiation, he did mention something about an information paradox.

But a lack of I/O doesn't really matter as long as functional purity and internal consistency is guaranteed... I mean, I'm a Haskell dev after all. 🤓

Oh shit, the whole simulation argument makes sense... Some upstream deity figured that creating singularities was easier than getting Vim into insert mode, and now we're stuck here.