107
linuxxx
7y

A while ago (few months) I was on the train back home when I ran into an old classmate. I know that he's a designer/frontend/wordpress guy and I know that he'll bring anyone down in order to feel good. I also know that he knows jack shit about security/backend.
The convo went like this:

Me: gotta say though, wordpress and its security...
Him: yeah ikr it's bad. (me thinking 'dude you hardly know what the word cyber security means)
Me: yeah, I work at a hosting company now, most sites that get hacked are the wordpress ones.
Him: yeah man, same at my company. I made a security thing for wordpress though so we can't get hacked anymore.
Me; *he doesn't know any backend NOR security..... Let's ask him difficult stuff*
Oh! What language did you use?
Him: yeah it works great, we don't get hacked sites anymore now!
Me: ah yeah but what language did you use?
Him: oh it's not about what language you use, it's about whether it works or not! My system works great!
Me: *yeah.....right.* oh yeah but I'd like to know so I can learn something. What techniques did you use?
Him: well obviously firewalls and shit. It's not about what techniques/technology you use, it's about whether it works or not!

That's the moment I was done with it and steered the convo another way.

You don't know shit about backend or security, cocksucker.

Comments
  • 35
    For the record, I sadly didn't make this up.
  • 7
    Wow. Just wow.
  • 12
    Okay one correction, I'm not sure about the 'firewalls and shit' anymore so I made that one up but it was something in the trend of '{insert security phrase} and shit'.
  • 7
    @Alice I think (knowing him for nearly 6 years) it was just an empty brag :/
  • 2
    You're way too patient. Maybe he tried to just seem as experienced as you, to not seem dumb? though the way he did, that failed.
  • 2
    @JoshBent yes I am (😩) and too badly I know him too well for believing that :/.

    How much I wish though!
  • 3
    No no @linuxxx , its not about if you invented this or not, its about that this works or not as a rant.

    Getting back on track, fuuck, that sucks dude, but well, this world will always be full of braggadocios everywhere
  • 7
    Maybe he just wrote a syntax error....

    Thus his sites don't get hacked because they're just 500 errors...

    Nothing more, nothing less, just 500 500 errors...
  • 1
    @Jamoyjamie @linuxxx sounds familiar, is that what the 500 were all about? 😏
  • 4
    I have had that feeling more times than I'd like... It's especially frustrating when a friend has introduced me to them because they "know we both like computers".

    A friend's baby-daddy was like this. She'd asked me if I could try to help find him a job, so I started asking about his experience, languages, etc. He answered "you know, command line terminal stuff" to everything. He couldn't even tell me what OS he was working on until I asked "which windows version were you on?"

    And of course, he couldn't ever just tell me what he was doing. I wouldn't understand... Universal among the type, I think. I feel your pain.
  • 0
    @linuxxx
    Is he on devRant!?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Iam asking this because, ur last two lines were as if he is going to see it
  • 2
    I moment I read 'designer/frontend/wordpress' I knew that you won't say anything positive about him in your rant :P
    (no offense to any front end devs who do their job well)

    Maybe it was 'https and shit' but what he really should have said is: 'i have no idea what I am talking about and shit'
  • 0
    @Nawap Don't think so haha!

    πŸ˜…
  • 1
    He has seen the light in TV security. There are obviously multiple firewalls and python 6 encryption involved.

    😈I would be tempted to go on the offence there. See how well "his measures" hold up
  • 0
    @hjk101 They veeeeery probably don't exist πŸ˜‰
  • 0
    @Torbuntu windows 11 based on LinuxπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    I think there actually is something like a „Linux based Windows“ though. It was called Lindows and then had to be renamed to something else because reasons πŸ˜‚
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