Developers' excuses

Junior : it works on my machine
Senior : it worked on my machine yesterday

So I'm a junior developer.

Result: client should use developer's machine on yesterday's status

Product owner: "Make this work"

Planning: "Make it work well enough, in 1 hour"

Dev: "It works now, but it's not maintainable"

Tester: "It doesn't work with Egyptian hieroglyphs and imaginary numbers"

Boss: "It works, if it sells"

Marketing: "It always works"

Sales: "We sell it if it doesn't work"

Support: "It never works"

Dev: "Hey, I found a new job! Good luck making this work!"